Happy Birthday O-ee Dawn!

My sweet beautiful girl,

I can still remember that most precious of all moments when at 2:33 am two years ago that wonderful doctor placed you in my arms. You had me smitten. You just stared at me with out making a sound and I felt as though from that moment on, our spirits would be forever intertwined not only as mother and daughter, but as best friends, kindred spirits. To this day I am still amazed when I watch you. Learning, searching, growing, loving. You are the sweetest little girl I have ever known and you astound everyone you meet with your gorgeous pixie like features, and your calm and kind demeanor. Underneath all that calm though you are a pistol and I love it. You are perfect my sweet girl and I love you. Happy 2nd Birthday booboo.

Family Pictures

We had the opportunity recently to have our pictures done with Aaron's beautiful family. It has been a year since we last had them done so it was so fun to see how much our peanut has grown. She is so gorgeous and I feel so lucky to be blessed with the best in-laws anyone could ask for. Oh and yeah my husband is crazy hot!

HOME

I can't tell you how many posts I have started recently and then deleted. Trying to breathe sometimes feels like a burden because it requires thought. I am still trying to process life and the temporal things that keep stunting my eternal progression. I miss simplicity. I miss a calm mind and warm spirit. I miss a whole heart. I miss normality. I know that my progression is only affected because I am letting it be affected. I know that my Savior died not only for my sins but for the sins of every living being and also for the pain, sadness, and anger that I may feel for anything at any given time. So I know that by not letting go I am telling the Lord it wasn't enough. I knew what the atonement was but I have to say that I did not have a burning testimony of it until now. I can honestly say I understand it and I am trying as hard as I can to live it, and to remember it. Forgiveness it mandatory for me to Let it go but if it takes a long time to let it go, do I get credit for trying? I need to bring myself HOME in mind, spirit, and body. How beautiful of a word is home? Not only is it a physical destination but what I am talking about is a state of being. Aaron. Oaklee. Testimony. Temple. Gospel. Scripture. Journal. Prayer. HOME.

What's going on...

So we can't wait for this....

But in the mean time we have been enjoying lots of this...

Aaron and Oak's birthday's are coming up and I can't wait. I always plan months in advance(and when I say months I mean like 4-6 months, haha) for these special events. I love planning the things that I can. The Lord has taken over ALOT of my planning these last 5 years and I have learned to let that happen pretty easily, but when I can have my say in something, you better believe I will. I already have Christmas planned. I know, I am a dork but I love being organized. My belly is starting to look like a real prego belly instead of just a gut so I am kind of excited about that. I still have not gained more than a pound. I don't really mind that.:) I only gained 25 with Oak and it was gone within a week after delivery. Hopefully this one works out that fast. I love being able to feel this baby wiggle. It is fun because after doing it once, I can now distinguish what is a bad bout of gas and what is my little swimmer. haha We find out what we are having on November 2 so I will keep ya posted. Aaron is already done with 2 units of his 15 to finish off with the degree he wants. Finally there is a light at the end of the tunnel and we both can't wait. Oak has slept in her own bed for over a week now and loves it. She even kicked me out one night when I tried kissing her goodnight "No mommy, get out." She is such a pistol and I love it. So as you can see, life is just peachy and we are loving it!!!

Come What May & Love It

!!!SUCCESS!!!

Ladies and Gentlemen, Oaklee has officially slept in a big girl bed all by herself all night long. haha Aaron said that he loves having more than a foot to sleep on now. Therefore, Oaklee has officially been banished from our bed. YAY!!!!!

Tough time...

I know that it seems like all I do is blubber but I gotta get stuff out. Had a hard day yesterday between missing my family and stupid medical bills that NEVER disappear. I keep waiting for this sick gut of mine to go away but it never does. It seems like all a good day does is numb it for a bit but there is still the reality of a trial that comes back and bites me in the butt. I am grateful though that even through this pain I feel closer to the spirit than I did before this hard time started. I am a better person because of it and I will continue to get stronger. My cousin said something incredible to me last night. She said that we should consider trials a personal compliment from the Lord because he will never give us more than we can handle. I know now that the world could crumble and if He felt the need for me to live through it, he would provide a way for me to endure anything. Times will not get easier, but I am not going to quit breathing, or quit trying to feel better. The second I give up is the same second that adversary has beaten me. How sad that would be for someone whose role in my eternity is only temporary, and who will ultimately be miserable no matter how bad I fall apart, to win. He won't. I will. Oh, I know that I am a total dork, and I don't need to hear anything else from anyone, but Oak slept in her own bed for a majority of the night last night. It was nice until I got cold so I went and crawled in bed with her. haha It is not her that can't let go, it's me. Maybe tonight I will be strong enough to go all night with her in her own bed. She is my warmth, and I will soak up whatever helps me to feel better right now.

My wonderful girl day...

So I went out with Oak today to every clothing store in Vernal (looking for something specific is a pain) and I just gotta tell ya I had a BLAST with my little gal! You guys, she is seriously the biggest sweet heart I have ever seen, or met, or heard, blah blah blah, SHE IS PERFECT. I am so in love with my baby girl and I cannot believe that the loud chaotic mess that I call myself took part in making her. She is so her father in her looks but it is hilarious to see a mini me walking, talking, acting like the DIVA she is. I love her and feel so blessed to call her mine. I only hope the second one is as perfect as she is. ha ha I make nothing except perfection. ha ha Oh I also felt the little bugger swimming around for the first time last night. Even though I have done this once before, the second time is just as precious, just as sweet, and just as remarkable as the first time. I bawled!!! (surprise surprise :))