Tough time...

I know that it seems like all I do is blubber but I gotta get stuff out. Had a hard day yesterday between missing my family and stupid medical bills that NEVER disappear. I keep waiting for this sick gut of mine to go away but it never does. It seems like all a good day does is numb it for a bit but there is still the reality of a trial that comes back and bites me in the butt. I am grateful though that even through this pain I feel closer to the spirit than I did before this hard time started. I am a better person because of it and I will continue to get stronger. My cousin said something incredible to me last night. She said that we should consider trials a personal compliment from the Lord because he will never give us more than we can handle. I know now that the world could crumble and if He felt the need for me to live through it, he would provide a way for me to endure anything. Times will not get easier, but I am not going to quit breathing, or quit trying to feel better. The second I give up is the same second that adversary has beaten me. How sad that would be for someone whose role in my eternity is only temporary, and who will ultimately be miserable no matter how bad I fall apart, to win. He won't. I will. Oh, I know that I am a total dork, and I don't need to hear anything else from anyone, but Oak slept in her own bed for a majority of the night last night. It was nice until I got cold so I went and crawled in bed with her. haha It is not her that can't let go, it's me. Maybe tonight I will be strong enough to go all night with her in her own bed. She is my warmth, and I will soak up whatever helps me to feel better right now.